December

I haven't written alot lately. I would love to look back everything that happened this year and it's not so nice. It feels like in the movies, and I don't like the drama. In a short span of time alot has happened and things you regret, but in the end you realize that things happen for a reason.

My dad died on August 30, 2010.20 days after his birthday. 20 days after that dreadful night of extending my patience while I fight back. Things do happen for a reason. Probably when God wanted to get my dad off this earth, he wanted me to be there.

Everyday, I would stare on his place in our garden. Greet him when I get home and say my goodbyes when leaving. Having my mental thoughts of him always saying the words "Mag ingat ka palagi" Having that mental picture of him at the door carrying my dog while bidding goodbye. Thoughts were only left that make me sad. That my plans for him will never happen. That deep inside I have this regret of not giving him what he wanted. I was planning to give it this Christmas but it was too late. I don't want to get drowned in this sorrow and Im going to leave everything behind. I miss him so much and all I can do now is stare at pictures and wear his big shirts. Thats the closest I can get to be with him. I'll see him in the future.


So this year is great in a lot of ways. Great emotions and other things. I don't want to go on details already. 4 more days until the next year. start fresh. I hope everythings gonna be okay and great. First things first. I have alot of things to do but really dont have time to actually materialize it. Okay how about finally applying for that visa so I can finally be with my grandmums? They are the the least that I have left as close as my grand mum... When everyone leaves the earth. =(

Oh Well....