Yes. My Papa. I Miss you and Love you so much! I wanna hear your voice again and laughter.
One day we will see each other again. ='(
My Papa spoils me with love and knowledge. He doesn't really spoil us with material things. It is something that I am really proud of. I am really the one spoiling them with stuff. I don't ask any money or random things because it's a trend or something. I remember how I struggled to finish my thesis in college and was really stressed out on how to buy a ream of bond paper. I wanted that my expenses should come from my allowance. I even tried to get a job while studying so I can buy more inks and paper for my thesis. I was crying and he asked me why. I told him I don't have any money to buy papers and I don't want to ask a single cent from him. He said he was going to give me a couple of hundreds but I dont really want to.
You see, I am pretty different. I don't ask for stuff from my parents. Rather I give them everything that I can every chance that I get. We eat out,buy my mom and dad things and go to places to have fun. It is my time to take care of them.
Argh. Rough times.
Dear Papa,
I have always been wondering how you are now. What you are doing and where you are. Until today, I feel like everything is just a dream. That you went away, probably in a sort of vacation and haven't been back. There are times that I'll always look for you in the morning because I have gazillion of stories to tell you. I also miss the nights that you and I would just talk about your insights about various topics. Those days that when I arrive home from work, you are the first person who I will see when I open the door and give me a hug.
Whenever I get home now, I will see your place in the garden. We took you home and you are home. When I open the door, I am just staring in a dark room where you are waiting for me, and all those memories left behind. I will see the car which you patiently taught me how to drive. To change a tire. To be a mechanic. To play around with screws and bolts. What breaks my heart even more was that we were already choosing the phone that you want for birthday and Christmas.
You know I have always been a daddy's little girl. I was always the baby girl that you have sitting on your lap even on my 20's. Now I am just looking on an empty chair where you sat. It's just so really hard to believe that you are gone and I still can't stop crying even as I write this. All I can just do now is stare at pictures and talk to you like as if you are just around. I miss you.
I remember how I open up to you and tell you everything what is in my heart and explain to me that as long as I am happy you will definitely be. As long as we don't hurt anyone and we live the simple life. Yes, that is what you taught me.
There is a cruel world outside once we step out of our home. We always have to defend and be careful of ourselves once we leave. There will be people who will hurt us because of different reasons and yes, we should not let them get into us.
You are my guitar hero, my number one food fan, my idol, my guitar tuner, my driver, my comedian, my jack of all trades, my joker. My Papa.
I miss your jokes and smile and huge belly. I miss you Papa. One day, when I am old and probably my time I will see you again and we will be all together in heaven. I love you so much.
